© Foundation For Research & Exploration of Mind Motivation

The times are promiscuous, risky, dangerous, stressful, difficult, and challenging. 

+ Add to this the burning desire in every young person to make his/her own mistakes, own discoveries, own adventures. 

+ Add teenagers needing to make parents not okay so they can pull away from their dependency on them.  Not easy on teenagers or parents. 

+ Add sex.   The popular media paints a sexy picture of sex.  Makes it look like everyone is doing it or wants to be doing it and everything else in life is second rate.  No one tells the truth about sex.

1st Truth:  Biology.  Biology drives young, healthy, fertile male bodies to impregnate young, healthy, fertile female bodies and drives young, healthy, fertile female bodies to want to be impregnated.  It is the soul that cares about setting goals, education, great job, great career, financial freedom, adventure, independence, self-fulfillment and a loving, compatible mate.  Biology does not care about any of those things; biology cares only about reproducing.   

2nd Truth: Lust.  Lust drives males to want to penetrate and females to want to be penetrated.  Lust does not care whether the body it penetrates or the body it is being penetrated by is healthy or unhealthy, attractive or unattractive, or whether the person in the body is nice or not nice.  It is the soul that cares about the person in the body, not lust.   

3rd Truth:  Drama.  Infatuation, first love, new love, young love, hot love - all add drama to sex.  Which is okay when one is where one wants to be in life and has what one wants to have; otherwise drama distracts one from getting to where one wants to be and having what one wants to have.  Unless one wants to be a user who lives off others, which adds a whole lot of other drama.

4th Truth:  Teenage Sex.  Teenage sex cannot avoid drama and distraction.  It’s impossible.  Too many hormones are driving too much biology, lust, infatuation, first love, new love, young love and hot love.  When the mood hits – and teenage hormones are always in the mood – the brain does not think clearly. 

5th Truth:  Babies.  They are cute, cuddly, and one of life’s wonders.  Raising a child demands lots and lots and LOTS of self sacrifice.  Mommies don’t want sex for at least six months and often longer after they give birth – they just pretend they do.  Nature has diverted their primal drives into a complete focus on the baby.  Mature men can deal with this, immature men can’t.  Raising children costs LOTS of money.  Young celebrities have that kind of money, most young people don’t.  It hurts when you can’t give your child nice things.  It’s hard to give your child to a caretaker who gets to enjoy your baby’s first experiences and is the one bonding with your child and programming your child with the beliefs that will set the patterns for his or her life.  Raising a child is never easy.  Giving away a child is never easy.  Abortion is never easy.   Pregnancy is always a risk in the fertile years of hormone driven sex.

 6th Truth:   Birth Control.  No method of birth control is 100% effective. Illness, disease, medications, forgetfulness can make birth control pills 100% ineffective.   Birth control pills, birth control implants and birth control injects make the body think it’s pregnant, which can cause mild to major weight gain, compulsive eating, food cravings, moodiness, and feeling ill.   ‘Morning after’ pills and other regimens that trigger miscarriage magnify these side effects.  The body really does think it is pregnant for several months – sometimes years – after it miscarries or aborts.  Condoms leak, burst, fit poorly and can just plain not work, especially if you can’t wait to use one.  Diaphragms and cervical caps can fit poorly, be put in improperly, leak, erode, and just plain not work, especially if you can’t wait to put one in.  Abortion is never easy.  Giving away a child is never easy.  Raising a child is never easy. 

7th Truth:  Gossip.  Rare is the teenager who does not tell someone they had sexual contact and rarer still is the someone who does not tell someone else.   Soon everyone knows.  That’s human nature.

8th Truth:  Sexually Transmitted Diseases can be transmitted through vaginal, anal and oral sex . 

Syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia are increasing rapidly and the effectiveness of antibiotics is decreasing.   Each can have no symptoms until damage is done.   For females damage can affect the cervix, urethra, rectum, anus, throat and cause problem pregnancies or infertility.  For males damage can cause painful inflammation of part of the testicles, which can lead to infertility and a narrowing of the urethra, which can affect the ability to urinate easily and can potentially cause kidney problems. Complications in both males and females:   inflammation of the eyes, and joints, sometimes a rash on the genitals and soles of the feet, and appendicitis.   All three are very infectious. If left untreated, syphilis can affect the heart and nervous system.  Damage that occurrs before the start of treatment may be irreversible.

Genital warts - caused by some sub-types of Human Papillomavirus (HPV). Not everyone infected with HPV will develop warts. Some will be infected with a strain that does not produce warts even though the virus is present (and contagious) in the skin or mucous membranes around the genital area or on the cervix in women. Some types of HPV have been linked to changes in cervical cells that can lead to cancer and may also pose a risk for men and women who have anal sex.  There is no treatment that can eliminate genital warts once a person has been infected.  Genital warts are caused by a virus, not a bacterium, so antibiotics will not get rid of them. While in the majority of cases, the immune system keeps the virus under control and eventually destroys it in a few years this is true only if the immune system is not compromised by poor diet, poor hygiene, illness, disease, allergies or stress


 The more sexual partners a person has the more compromised the immune system becomes. 

Herpes virus hides away in nerve fibres near the infection site where it can remain dormant; i.e. causing no symptoms, until a time of stress or illness.  Infectious even when dormant.  Painful, dibilitating outbreaks can ccur in the mouth, anus, penis, or vagina.   There is no cure for the herpes virus.

Thrush is a yeast infection that can be caused by certain antibiotics or contraceptive pills that alter the pH balance of the vagina, by spermicides, (some condoms have spermicide on them), and by genital or oral contact with someone who carries the candida yeast.

Trichomoniasis (also known as Trich) can infect the vagina and the male and female urethra. Often presents no early symptoms.  Causes discharge in both men and women, discomfort or pain while having sex, pain when urinating and inflammation of the urethra, inflammation of the vulva and cystitis (an infection of the urinary system) in females.  

Crabs and Lice.  Can get rid of them but very itchy and creepy and can infect clothing and furniture.

 HIV / AIDS – a ‘life sentence’ no one wants to have or give another.   

"  Studies done by Georgetown Medical University and the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Md., published in Nature, Sept. 1, 1988, show that latex gloves, made to much higher specifications than the condom, have pores 50 times larger than the 0.1 micron HIV virus."   . . . .     "Even intact condoms have naturally occurring defects (tiny holes penetrating the entire thickness) measuring five to 50 microns in diameter -- 50 to 500 times the size of the HIV virus," writes C. Michael Roland, head of the Polymer Properties Section at the Naval Research laboratory in Washington, D.C. and editor of Rubber Chemistry and Technology, in a published letter to the Washington Times.

 According to a recent federal study at least one in four American girls between the ages of 14 – 19 has a sexually transmitted disease.   ( Center for Disease Control and Prevention, The Associated Press).

 Anal sex, genital sex, and oral sex, including using your tongue, mouth, hand or fingers, exposes you to the germs, viruses, and bacteria of every person your partner has ever had sexual contact with; if you want to avoid a sexually transmitted disease you and your partner need to be tested, then wait three months – without any sexual contact, including using your mouth, tongue, hand or fingers – and then be tested again.

 Sexually transmitted diseases are one of the reasons people choose to have sex with one partner only. 

Trusted partners watch each other’s back, protecting each other from emotional hurt and physical disease.  

 Traditionally, cultures protected their young from the biological drives, drama, distraction and risks of sex by chaperoning them VERY CLOSELY.  This is no longer true.  Which has shifted the responsibility for their fate and their future to young people themselves.  This hardly seems fair considering the forces working against them.  

 TO HELP THEMSELVES young people need to see the value of postponing sex until they are educated enough and/or trained sufficiently to get a good job for financial independence and are no longer controlled by their sexual drives.  To postpone sex young people must avoid situations and places in which it is possible to have sex.   Sorry, there is just no other way to do it.  Biology, lust, first love, new love, hot love and infatuation far outweigh good intentions and thinking clearly.  

 To Control Sexual Urges:  Masturbate.   (Learning what your body likes and needs to orgasm helps you know how to help a sexual partner pleasure you when you are ready responsible, smart sex.   Plus you will never be dependent on another person for sexual pleasure.) Play sports.  Physically exercise.  Do yoga.  Meditate.   Take long walks.  Get into running. Have a job, duties at home, volunteer in the community so you have activities to occupy and tire you.   Make your studies important, education can make or break your future.   Take cold showers when you need to.  Keep a journal in which you write your hopes, dreams, wishes, fears, angers and the experiences that upset you.  Research show writing about emotionally charged events helps one deal with them mentally and physically.  Read stories, biographies and autobiographies of people you admire to inspire you and give you ideas on how to reach your goals.   An excellent book about setting and reaching goals is:    

 WINNERS FOR LIFE, A Teenager’s Guide to Success using the Proven Power of Goal Setting    by Donny Anderson (All American Pro, Green Bay Packers and former chairman of the National Football League Alumni; Coach with the Special Olympics and Boys and Girls Clubs, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, Father of two teenagers) and Linkie Swelzer Cohn (Mother, Motivational Speaker, Philanthropist)  

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Foundation For Research & Exploration of Mind Motivation is a 501 (C) (3) Non-Profit Teaching, Healing, & Research Foundation. 

Phone:   760.772.6628    Fax:  760.772.0169  

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This page and all contents are copyright by Pamela Chilton 2001. All Rights Reserved.